Random Haai-Fives: Shark Cage Diving with Gordon’s Gin.

 

 

“They say it takes a legend to know one – and in Gordon’s case this couldn’t be any truer.”

In September 2014 Gordon’s Gin launched a national search for a true Gordon’s Legend: someone ambitious adventurous and inspirational, who embodies the spirit of legends – Gordon’s Gin.

Finally in December, the winner of the Gordon’s ‘See Yourself as the Next Legend’ competition was announced. Andrew Mphore, a true hero within his community, won the grand prize of a 7-day getaway for four people in South Africa’s Number One holiday destination, as well as R50 000 in cold hard cash.

On the 28th of February, Andrew and his lucky guests arrived in sunny Cape Town and checked into a luxury penthouse suite at the 15 on Orange hotel. Over the course of their stay, the four were treated like absolute royalty – as true Legends should!

I was invited to join Andrew and his family on Day 4 of the week of Legendary experiences, to keep an eye on what awesome things Gordon’s was doing – so I could report back to y’all.

The day started at 4am wake up, to see Australia losing spectacularly at CWC, which was honestly quite a high already. Then our awesome driver (aptly named Gordon) picked us up and took us to 15 on Orange where we could snack on the (5 star) breakfast buffet and feel luxurious. We got to meet Andrew and his entourage and I’d brought fellow stand-up comedian, Westley Cockrell as my plus-one. None of us had any joy in our eyes that early.

Then we were ushered back into the van, with packed bags full of more food (fattening us up for the sharks, perhaps?) and started the hour or so drive off to Gansbaai. I rode up front with Gordon and chatted about his life of VIP hosting luxury, so the trip flew past in a gorgeous sunrise of Overberg colours.

And then. We arrived.

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A beautiful sunny morning, with what looked like a calm sea greeted us. We went inside where there was MORE food, coffee and a safety briefing. We all got kitted out in rain-coats (the kind the serial killer wears in teen-horror films) and trundled off to the ‘Apex Predator’ boat.

I’ve gone shark-cage diving once before, in the same bay. But today was a whole different experience that I really think classifies as ‘Legendary’. Mostly because I now know 1. What it looks like when 90% of the people are seasick on a boat and 2. What it looks like moments before you die from a Great White swallowing you whole. As one lunged at the cage, open mouthed, and snapped about 20cm from my face. I screamed. Underwater. And clung onto the random German Tourists alongside me in the cage.

The DVD footage of that is pretty amusing as you seem me propelling upwards, one arm outstreched like the Lady of the Lake to cling to the top of the cage. The shark guides were yelling at me to go under the water again as the shark was about to make another pass (at my face) to which i replied. No thanks, I’m fine up here. Much like when you hide under your blankets from monsters, I knew that if I didn’t LOOK there wouldn’t be a 4 metre long Great White Shark, circling me.

Adrenaline coursed, jokes were made. Swells were bobbed over, and we all survived.

I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.

Andrew and his crew.

Andrew and his crew.

 

 

Westley Cockrell and I - 'We're going to need a bigger boat!"

Westley Cockrell and I – ‘We’re going to need a bigger boat!”

 

 

Our driver and host, Gordon.

Our driver and host, Gordon.

Da dum.

Da dum.

 

Daaa dum.

Daaa dum.

Andrew's Brother in Law - he Survived (and saw 2 sharks)

Andrew’s Brother in Law – he Survived (and saw 2 sharks)

Me, before pseudo death.

Me, before pseudo death.

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When asked what the highlight of their stay was Andrew said the entire trip was one big highlight. But if he had to single out some of his favourite moments they would definitely be driving the AC Cobra around Cape Town and cage diving with Great White Sharks.

“I never imagined I would do all these things in my entire life, let alone 7 days!” said Andrew. “Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to walk in the shoes of a Legend.” Gordons Gin. A legend since 1769.

Tune into my radio show today from 1-3pm on 2oceansvibe radio, I’ll have Simphiwe from Gordon’s Gin in studio to chat about the campaign.

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Mirrors Hair Lab.

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If you type “best hair salon in Cape Town” into Google then Mirrors Hair Lab comes up first. (Thanks to a survey ran in 2013) And it’s not hard to understand why. With its quirky ‘home feel’ interior, and its personable and personal attention.

I was invited as part of ‘media’ to a pamper session at Mirrors, where I got to meet Candice. She told me about her passion for treating every customer like family, and rather having less customers that she can dedicate full attention to than making them feel part of an assembly line of cuts. I totally get her approach, because we are all pretty precious about our hair. We want to feel heard, and re-heard as we debate the fringe length for the 15th time. It matters to us, ok! This salon also has nice inside and outside chill areas, so you can hang out.

Perks I found: Parking. It’s the bane of Cape Town, trying to find good/free parking – anywhere. Mirrors is located 2 Molteno Rd, Gardens. Thats right next to De Waal Park. So there’s ample parking along the road.

Fairies. The theme is quirky with mirror balls and fairy trinkets everywhere inside. Throwing me back to happier times of my childhood. There were even ‘Fairy Oracle Cards’ on the table where i sat – nothing wrong with that. I’m sold.

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Service. With clearly capable hands, Candice whipped my hair into ringlet locks quicker, and more beautifully than ever before. As a girl with terminally straight and limp hair, I have tried endlessly to acquire this type of effect. Left me bouncing out of there feeling like a mermaid.

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Candice previously worked as Western Cape colour technician for L’Oreal and Redken where she gained international experience in Paris and London. She regularly styles for SA Fashion Week with Redken. Candice is also a make-up artist and is often tasked with helping clients look their best for weddings and special occasions. So she knows what’s up.

We were gifted with some hair goodies as a take-away and I’m pretty obsessed with this Matrix Amazonian Murumuru hair oil (that was used on my hair in the above photo). You run it through damp hair before styling for gloss, control and yum-smell! Or you can use it at the end of styling to smooth down those fly-aways.

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Tune into my radio show this Friday the 13th 1-3pm. I’ll have Candice in Studio to chat hair care, hair trends and hot products. (I’ll also have someone from Gordon’s Dry Gin to chat about why I recently went GREAT WHITE SHARK CAGE DIVING! – but that’s for another blog-post! )

Book at Mirrors and let me know how you liked it. I definitely want to visit again, to try some more of the treatments etc.

Mirrors Hair LabCandice: 2 Molteno Rd, Gardens 021 424 3931

*Hair Five*

 

 

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Me, in the Marie Claire Naked Issue 2015 :)

Some of you might remember that I hit the muay-thai gym pretty relentlessly towards the end of last year under the training of Quentin and Winston Chong. I alluded that I had a reason, but wasn’t allowed to announce it yet.

Well, today that reason hits the shelves.

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I had the immense honour of being asked to participate in Marie Claire’s annual ‘Naked Issue’ as one of the 35 celebs who take it all off in support of a great cause. Nothing will make you hit gym harder than the prospect of your nekkid self being in a Country-wide magazine. Thanks to Dragon Power Muay Thai, I managed to tone up enough in 2 weeks that I could face the camera (after a big glass (read:bowl) of rosé .

I was joined by fellow comedians Schalk Bezuidenhout and Shimmy Isaacs on the shoot and many giggles were had. I have seen more of Schalk than I ever wanted to – and you can too, if you buy the magazine.

It’s for an amazing cause this year, Blow the Whistle. Which is an organisation that aims to alleviate abuse of women and children by speaking out. I have seen a few comments today already of people on twitter saying ‘how is getting naked going to stop rape? that’s like showering to stop aids’ Ok. Whilst funny, that’s flawed for two reasons. Getting naked should not allude in any way to ‘rape’. Nothing should invite rape, so being naked or fully clothed shouldn’t have any impact on the notion of whether or not someone might get raped.

Secondly, making us vulnerable in front of a camera, naked. Is showing the vulnerability of all the women and children who feel equally (if not far more so) exposed and shamed when they try to speak out. It was handled on set in a very sincere and sombre manner, and all of us were acutely aware of the point of what we were there for. Sure, Shimmy, Schalk and I are all comedians – so of course there were pockets of laughter – but there was a feeling of  gravity when the shooting started, that feeling of vulnerability that every women has felt, walking down a street late at night. Or in the middle of the day.

Being vulnerable and taking off all of our masks and clothing ‘armour’ to reveal ourselves at our honest core. That was the message that we all knew we were taking part in. It made me shake, not from fear, but with emotion. Emotion for all of the humans, myself included, who have felt helpless and speechless at some point in their lives – with no way to speak out.

They even put the bare minimum of make-up, no mascara, no colour. Nothing to make us feel shielded.

It was a beautiful experience, and I’m so humbled by what it opened my eyes to. They captured the image of Shimmy and I in the first few shots, the shoot was wrapped so quickly. The photographer said she did it that way because there’s still a vulnerability in one’s eyes as they first become naked, and thats what she was trying to convey. The honesty.

A sneak peek at my photo in Marie Claire. You'll have to buy the mag to zoom out.

A sneak peek at my photo in Marie Claire. You’ll have to buy the mag to zoom out.

Check out Blow the Whistle, they have a new app that you can press a panic button that automatically notifies three of your chosen phone numbers of your location. It also allows you to set ‘home’ routes to tell people where you are travelling from and to so that if you don’t arrive on time, it notifies your contact people.

The magazine is out today supported by 1st For Women Insurance. Pick it up, get involved. Speak out against violence and abuse of women and children. It’s everyone’s problem.

#MCNaked

 

How to get involved:

  • Share your voice! Speak up and tell others to do the same.

Marie Claire has created a picture gallery on its website (Marieclaire.co.za), where readers can post their message of support or opinion on sexual violence. This gallery will be shared on Marie Claire’s Facebook page. To drive engagement and more discussion; 1st For Women Insurance will donate R10 000 towards The DNA Project when the Facebook gallery reaches 1 000 shares.

  • Donate: SMS the word ‘WHISTLE’ to 38157 to make a donation of R10 towards BTW.

  • Buy a whistle for R36 from The Cross Trainer stores or from hotels in the Legacy Group around South Africa. (For more information, visit Whistle.co.za)

 

 

 

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All the Tea in Cape Town.

“Tea” at the Mount Nelson has always been heralded as one of the most decadent and ‘must do’ things in Cape Town. I finally tried it for myself this past Sunday Morning. And it was as luxurious and colonial as Queen Victoria would expect.

Everything about the Mount Nelson is decadent. From the thrillingly pink walls, the palm lined driveway and the exploding flowerbeds around the emerald manicured lawns. It screams 5 star. The service of the Morning Tea is no different. When I’m at these fine dining type places, I always want to whisper in the waiter’s ear as they unfold my starched napkin for me; “Don’t worry, I’m not rich, you don’t have to be so nice to me” because it leaves me feeling like a fraud.

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If you haven’t been (as I hadn’t) the sun room is spectacular. It felt like The Opulent India of the 1800s. They have huge arrangements of potted flowers flanking the doorway which opens into a serene garden, with high trees, hibiscus and a central fountain, filling the area with the giggling sound of sparkling water falling into a pond. Bliss.

Now, it’s a bit pricey and I’m not going to say ‘but it was worth it’. But it kinda was. For Morning tea (the cheaper option, as opposed to High Tea) Including tip, you’re looking at around R215 per person for what’s essentially tea and scones. But you’re not going for Tea and Scones. You’re going for the fountain and the waiter making you feel royal, and the birdsong, and the real sunflowers smiling at you. If you bear that in mind, it’s much more worth it.

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The tea is served in fine bone china and glass tea-pots so you can see the infusion. Our waiter spoke about tea like a somalier talks about wine. Explaining the different infusions, blends, notes, tones and even which ones compliment which flavours and palates. I really enjoyed the respect shown to my most beloved beverage. (You can drink as many pots and kinds of tea as you want. No extra charge.) The waiter was so good at upselling that my first tea flavour choice was blue cornflower earl grey tea. I hate earl grey tea. I loved this one.

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The food is exactly what you’d hope from a poncy colonial tea experience. Complete with cucumber and cream cheese sarmies. Tim Noakes fans of Banting need not apply to this tea – as every single thing was dripping in sugar and carbs. Finger sandwiches, croissants, scones, chocolate ganache cake, cheesecake, banana bread and spinach quiche. It was more than I could finish, and they let me take a doggy bag – which thrilled me.

High Tea is slightly more expensive as it’s a buffet with much of the same ingredients (and many more). Buffets are sneaky little monsters. You pay more so you can eat more, sure. But it might be worth your buck if you plan on only stocking up on macaroons or something, but you aren’t really going to be able to eat your fill of these rich, carby, sugary treats without regretting your life decisions. (Unless you’re American.)

I’d recommend this experience as long as you know that you’re in it for the experience and the tea (which was amazing, I had an orange, cardamon infused one second. So yum!) But not for the foodies. The food was fine but not worth that price. I think next time, I’ll just order a pot of tea (around R60) and soak up the ambiance. Rah rah rah.

Remember, Pinkies up!

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World-renowned Magnum Pleasure Store to hit Cape Town

I’ve been invited to experience Magnum Sized Pleasure. Oh behave. Tonight is the VIP launch of the Magnum Pleasure Store, and I’m going to get Ice-cream in and around my mouth!

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See below for details via the Press Release:

New York, Melbourne, Amsterdam, Paris, Istanbul, Johannesburg – and now Cape Town!

The Magnum Pleasure Store pops up at Cavendish Square, Claremont on 17 January 2015 in celebration of Magnum’s 25th Birthday, giving you the chance to customise your own Magnum and share the glamour of a quarter century of pleasure with some of the country’s hottest celebrities. Open daily from 10am – 8pm and running for 8 weeks only until 15 March 2015, Magnum Cape Town gives Magnum fans the chance to celebrate their favourite ice cream by customising it with their choice of decadent chocolate dip, and nearly 20 toppings from sea salt to chilli flakes and rose petals to chocolate-coated honeycomb. The Make My Magnum experience costs R50, which includes your choice of three premium toppings.

Having travelled the globe since 2012, The Magnum Pleasure Store has been drawing crowds of public and celebrities alike. After a record-setting run in Joburg, Magnum Cape Town expects to attract in the region of 50,000 pleasure seekers. At the dazzling official launch party to be held on 15 January, Jonathan Boynton-Lee and Leigh-Anne Williams will co-host some of Cape Town’s leading VIPs prior to the official public opening on 17 January.

And for pleasure seekers, a host of other surprise pop-up experiences await. For exclusive access, we invite you to like facebook.com/MagnumSouthAfrica and keep your eyes peeled in the press! You can also follow @MagnumSA on Twitter and share the love via Twitter #MakeMyMagnumSA.

Join Magnum and celebrate 25 years of pleasure your own way, by visiting Magnum Cape Town at Cavendish Square, Claremont this summer.

*High Five for Pleaseure!* Giggity!

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#MakeLight of crisis with #Loadsharing from Nando’s

Nando’s has done it again. Making light of the frustrations that South Africans are all feeling with the incessant Load Shedding from Eskom.

We love you. And your yumness. Get in ma belly.

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The Ancient Platbos Forest #Trees4Hope

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What is the Ancient Forest? Watch this 1.40min video. It’s an enchanted heart  and soul of the planet – Some trees are even 1000 years old.

Look, I know this is a little tree-huggy and hippy. But honestly, indigenous forests are one of the most valuable things on the planet. Literally. Think primary school biology class and the eco-system lesson. Alien vegetation, whilst also oxygen producing, usually leeches more water than it needs and isn’t in harmony with the animals and bacteria that need the local trees to flourish. Basically. We need to stop being dicks and start worrying more about our natural forests.

Plus, it’s an amazing place to visit and return to your Apocalypto style roots.

Pledge R150 to plant

 

PLEDGE R150 TO PLANT #TREES4HOPE AT PLATBOS… AND GROW AN INDIGENOUS FOREST THIS FESTIVE SEASON!
INSTEAD OF BUYING A PLASTIC TREE OR CUTTING DOWN A LIVING ONE TO DECORATE YOUR HOME OR OFFICE, INVEST IN OUR FUTURE WITH TREES FOR TOMORROW! LET’S CELEBRATE THIS FESTIVE SEASON A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY…

The tradition of Christmas trees is rooted in pre-Christian times where the Northern Hemisphere‘s winter solstice (December 21st) marked the shortest day and longest night. In the frozen heart of midwinter, evergreen trees became beacons of life and hope in an otherwise bleak landscape.

This year, to celebrate the festive season and off-set the ‘cost’ of Christmas Trees felled for decoration, pledge to plant #trees4hope. Your R150 per tree will help reforest the ancient Platbos Forest.

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Your Pledge Counts.

Your R150.00 goes towards:

– sustainable hand harvesting of tree seedlings in Spring from the forest floor

– two years of intensive nurturing in the forest nursery to produce a strong, healthy sapling

– long hard hours of hand-clearing invasive, alien vegetation

– the costly process of creating wood chip from cleared invader trees to cool the soil and prevent moisture loss

– actual planting of the tree, done lovingly by hand during the wet winter season

– on-going maintenance of the reforestation stand until it forms an integral part of the forest canopy

Each tree represents a square meter of future canopy, strengthening the forest and creating a habitat for creatures large and small: wild bees, bushbuck, honey badgers, porcupines, birds, leopards and leopard toads.

If you would like to calculate how many #trees4hope are needed to offset your carbon footprint, you can do so here.

WIN:

Platbos T4H comp

 

With every #tree4hope pledged, you’ll automatically be entered into the competition to win a magical 2 night getaway for two to Platbos’ Honey Bee forest suite. You can also enter by

– liking Platbos Forest Reserve on Facebook, tag five friends and share the official competiton photo on your timeline.

– following @PlatbosForest and RT-ing official #trees4hope competition tweets

Platbos Honey Bee Camp view

(T&C’s apply)

How to Pledge a Tree:

You can pay for your R150 tree in 2 ways:

1. Directly via EFT:

Platbos Conservation Trust

Nedbank Cheque/Current Account

Account Number: 1820009467

Branch Code: 198765

Use #trees4hope as your reference

2. Via credit/debit card, Payfast here:

Please email proof of payment, your name and surname or company/organisation and a brief dedication to trees4hope@sacredcapital.org and they will mail you a personalized certificate – and automatically enter you into the competition.

Christmas tree/presents: Sorted.

Tune into my weekly radio show this coming Friday the 28th November on 2oceansviberadio from 1-3pm here. We’ll have Jon and Skye from Platbos in studio, talking more about the initiative and the COMPETITION!

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*High five for hugging trees!*

 

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Nick Rabinowitz – WHAT THE EFF?

Nik Rabinowitz changed my career by, not only being a huge comedic inspiration but by offering to direct my first ever one woman show. It was his first attempt directing and the confidence he instilled in me, both through his compassionate directing techniques and the fact that he thought I was funny enough to be worth the risk has literally changed my comedy career, and thus my life.

Personal stuff aside. It’s widely accepted that Nik’s one of the funniest Xhosa Speaking Jewish people in SA. I dare say THE funniest Xhosa Speaking Jewish Person. And he has a new show:

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It’s hard to live in South Africa for more than five minutes without looking around in wide-eyed bewilderment, and asking: “What the EFF?” Whether it’s hippies rubbing their chords together to produce solar energy, militants marching into parliament in Pep Store overalls and Italian shoes, or taxi drivers who manage to simultaneously cut you off and flip you the bird while paging through the newspaper and counting their money… at some point in every day, you will say: “What the EFF?” Fortunately, Nik Rabinowitz is here to answer that question. Or maybe not answer it, so much as shake it a bit, and see what falls out.

From the leafy green ganglands of Constantia, to the imaginary book storage lockers of Limpopo, Rabinowitz casts his eye far and wide, and muses: “What the EFF?” And if politics isn’t your cup of tea, there’s plenty of other ridiculousness that’ll have you shaking your head, and clutching your sides. This show is 100% vegan and eco friendly, and made up of 10% recycled material and 15% up cycled jokes. No punch lines were tested on animals. Bring your own canvas bag.

What the EFF? runs at the Fugard Theatre from 16 to 30 December 2014 at 8pm with tickets costing from R150 to R190 with discounts for Students, Pensioners and group bookings of ten or more. The performance on New Year’s Eve on 31 December 2014 at 9pm costs R250 per person for the show that starts at 9pm.

Aside from the popular theatre foyer bar, the Fugard’s rooftop bar is also open nightly from 7pm until late.

All bookings are through the Fugard Theatre box office on 021 461 4554 or Computicket.com and 08619158000. Advance booking is highly recommended. Please note there is an age restriction of 13 on this show.

*High Five*

 

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Calvin Klein launches in Cape Town

Super exciting and super trendy, seems all the fashion power houses are finally heading down to the Southern most tip of Africa. Finally.

I know the 14 year old version of myself (The girl who collected the Kate Moss black & white magazine adverts) is very excited to have been invited to the exclusive launch of Calvin Klein’s first ever South African store at the V&A Waterfront!

The store interior incorporates sleek materials with rich, tactile finishes and graphic details throughout, in keeping with the brands’ overarching aesthetic. The unique space showcases disciplined design, iconic geometry and a pure palette of materials rooted in colored metals, glass, concrete and wood.

For more information, please visit calvinklein.com.

I’ll post pics after Thursday – when I attend the cocktail party launch :)

xxx

*High five*
 

 

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Adidas launches Supernova Glide Boost, and why I think they’re a rad brand.

This past Saturday I was asked to MC  the launch of Adidas’ new Supernova Glide Boost running shoes (which basically entailed a bit of unruly stand up comedy to start the day).

One thing I love about the Adidas brand is that they dress a lot of the males in comedy, and brands are usually pretty hesitant about comedians as we practice the most free of freedom of speech. We’re the willy swinging nudists of freedom. But Adidas identifies the relevance and doesn’t get to ‘corporate’ or ‘censorshippy’ about that and allows comedians to just carry on carrying on. It’s for that reason that I already owned a pair of Adidas gym shoes, because I’ll support them for supporting us.

Imagine my glee when the Adidas PR rep told me there were no ‘rules’ about my comedy and I can take it as dark as I want to. Which I did. Even down to the ‘made in China’ phenomenon, and then pointing out that Supernova Glide are made in Indonesia, so we’re one step cooler. And, true to their word, they weren’t upset with the jokes – they took them all on the chin and remained being a ‘rad brand’.

 

So, aside from the ‘props’ that Adidas deserves for allowing people to be people, the new shoes are awesome. Every woman invited (from radio, media and blogging worlds) got their very own pair (and socks, gym top and running tights) and in exchange, we had ‘try out the goods’ by taking the new kit on a 3km run!

The invite didn’t make it exceptionally clear that there was a run involved, so the ladies arrived in their gorgeous Capetonian stlylishness, but then got told they had to change – and run. Everyone was an amazing sport about it. (If you’ll excuse the pun). Some ladies even hadn’t worn a bra with their outfit and ran, boobies clutched in hands. Many giggles were had between gasping for breath.

We even got to make nice with real famous people as Gareth Cliff and Pabi Moloi had been flown down from JHB for the event, and (being that they actually knew about the 3km run) they pretty much won the race.

A little bit about these new shoes then? 

Adidas has the Boost technology in their rubber soles, which (technology aside) means the basically have air bubbles in them, (think Aero chocolate) that makes them more buoyant for your foot cushions. It’s been scientifically proven, so you can’t argue. Science.

What’s special about the new Supernova Glides is that they are specifically tailored to women, because us girls are looking for so much more in a shoe than mere functionality.  They’ve made them more streamlined, less bulky (so our feet don’t look bigger than they are!) and all sorts of aesthetic features that aren’t in the boys’ version.

 

After the run, we all made it back to the stunning Alphen Botique Hotel in Constantia, where we were greeted with breakfast canapes, bubbly (and bottles of water). We got to catch our breath, take selfies (once the red-face had subsided) and some ladies even took advantage of the sun-chairs next to the pool.

Luxury, well earned.

*High five* to Adidas, thanks for being such a rad brand.

 

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