Grahamstown, National Arts Festival 3.0

My one woman show, Yes Really Angel is going back to the National Arts Festival in Grahamstown in 2015, for it’s 3rd and final run.

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Directed by Nik Rabinowitz and produced by Siv Ngesi, this show marks my first meander into the world of full-length comedy. I cringe to think of it in its infancy in 2013 and am much more proud of the content now, in 2015. So make sure and check out the story of how I got my name, what it was like growing up as an awkward girl named after a stripper and how I tripped and fell, wearing red stilettoes and a bikini, into stand-up comedy. There’s also a good dose of observational humour where I impart my dark wit onto everything from Blackberry conspiracy theories, the zombie apocaplyse, useless guardian angels, tales of my time teaching English in South Korea and why we should avoid glitter. The usual things.

Check out the full listing of my appearances and times (Including appearances at Goliath&Goliath, Cape Town Comedy Club in G town and The Very Big Comedy Show) here.

Book for Yes Really Angel on the National Arts Festival page Here (I’ve already sold a bunch of tickets – yay-  so book now!)

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Mass Hysteria 2015

NANDO’S PRESENTS MASS HYSTERIA 2015

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“The Long Bunfight to Freedom”

 

This year has been witness to the most extraordinary scenes of Parliamentary disorder ever, with fists flying, insults exchanged, mass walkouts and the deployment of SWAT teams in the House. Never before have overalls and berets been at the heart of potential darkness. The nation was astounded that not even load shedding could stop light from being cast on the shenanigans of our elected politicians.

 

They have accepted bribes, employed inept family and pick-pocketed the taxpayer as he waited for SAPS to pick up the phone. Have we, the people, unwittingly jumped from a frying pan into the fire?

 

What is the solution? Where will we find relief? Who can we look to for answers?

 

Nando’s is committed to keeping the heat on those responsible, and even though they don’t profess to have all the answers, they sure know how to turn on the burn.

 

The burn promises to come in several degrees, from the extra hot spice of John Vlismas, to the lemon and herb stylings of former caveman, Alan Committee, with many, many flavors in between.

 

Quite simply, if comedy had a government, this would be it. From the makers of “The Comics’ Choice Awards”, “Revelations”, “Bitches” and most other great comedy shows in the country comes the best comedy production of the year.

 

Look forward to a handpicked line-up of the best stand-ups in the country each night on one, beautifully designed stage. Book now and find out why comedians should be running the country – all proudly presented by the chicken that gets us talking – Nando’s.

 

Johannesburg show dates and line-up:

 

Nik Rabinowitz

Chester Missing

Tumi Morake

Mpho Popps Modikoane

John Vlismas

And for the first time in years….

MARC LOTTERING!!!

 

Teatro, Montecasino

19 August – 23 August 2015

 

Cape Town show dates and line-up:

 

John Vlismas

Tumi Morake

Mpho Popps Modikoane

Alan Committie

Chester Missing*

Loyiso Gola

And…

MARC LOTTERING

 

14 October – 25 October 2015

Artscape Opera House Theatre

 

Book for either (or both) Johannesburg and Cape Town runs atComputicket as soon as you can, or you will lose out, and your friends will avoid you and it will be awkward.

 

**Please note that due to availability Conrad Koch/Chester Missing will be performing for a select number of Cape Town show dates up to 20 October 2015.

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Sri Lank Awesome – My Diary of Sri Lanka: Day 1.

Everything about Sri Lanka was awesome, except for the guys on the cover of the guide book. Those fishermen are jerks.

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Sri Lanka. The first Asian country I’ve ever travelled to where people aren’t surprised that this white girl could be from South AFRICA. “Where you from?” “South Africa.” “Ah, AB Devilliers! Sorry about the world cup. Bad luck!” – Sri Lanka, the land of cricket. That alone. What’s not to love? Add to this that land of tea and I’m sold. But Sri Lanka was so, so much more than just Cricket, Tea or Curry and we are truly in love with this Pearl of the Indian Ocean.

When I told people that I was going to Sri Lanka on holiday most responded with ‘Why?’, others responded with an impressed nod of ‘I didn’t predict that, I’m almost impressed at your unpredicability’ – much like what the very first hipster must have felt when he was the first to wear his grandpa’s hat in public. I liked the idea of going somewhere that not many people had an opinion on. Myself included. A true bonafide adventure, best get my captain’s log in order! (read: Instagram). I’m from Cape Town. We’re Hipster like that.

Day 1: Colombo

After a bit of a nightmare in Abu Dhabi with Ethiad Airlines seeming to have made EVERYONE in the airport miss their flights.

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Angry hoards in Abu Dhabi Airport.

 

Montage: An angry transfer desk full of waving fists and stomping feet, Long queues of tired travellers at different degrees of furious, threats of us being trapped in the desert airport for 17 hours as there were no other flights, Regretting the choice to wear shorts in the Seychelles heat that we’d left, because now my lily white legs were the red-light district of the conservative UAE airport. After tears and pleading, using my one Arabic word (learnt from the inflight announcements) “Shukrah” I thanked them as they managed to book my hussy body onto a different airline flight only 2 hours delayed off to Sri Lanka. (Possibly to remove the excess flesh heathen from their midst!) Our flight was further delayed midair by an hour, thanks to Yemeni airspace being closed due to the war that had just resurged there. Damn inconsiderate wars, throwing off our holiday plans. How dare they.

We arrived at dawn into Colombo airport, maintaining an upbeat optimism that lingers when you know you’ve spent all your savings on this damn holiday and you WILL have fun, no matter what, dammit. So SMILE!

Yay, airplane selfie.

Yay, airplane selfie.

Pros: We liked the curry on the flight, maybe our western tastebuds will not shrivel up and die. The Sri Lankan air-host-dude was hot and all the Sri Lankans around us on the plane were really friendly and excited about us visiting (or perhaps just excited to be returning home). They even moved us to the back of the plane where there were open seats so we could sit together, and lie down.

Inside the airport, standing at the luggage conveyor belt, our carry-on backpacks in tow, awaiting the one suitcase we had to check in, laden with no-no carry-on items: suncreams, face-wash and bug spray. Oh the litres of Tabard we had flown across the globe. Watching each bag as it came out of the magic-secret-rubber-curtained-hole-in-the-wall and it wasn’t ours. Seeing the dwindling crowds, and convincing each other with optimism that there were still one or two other people, they haven’t lost our bags – have faith. And then it came. A very polite Sri Lankan accent out of the mouth of an officially dressed gentleman, with a younger more nervous looking, equally officially dressed gentleman in tow.

“Excuse us, are you Miss Angel Campey?”

“Yes, I am…?”

“Oh dear. So sorry madam, but your luggage did not make it onto this flight. It remains behind in Abu Dhabi. Please come with us.”

Nervous glances between officially dressed gentlemen as I inhale and exhale a measured-try-to-stay-calm sigh. How is this foreigner going to conduct herself?

Pained glances between foreigners. Trying to reiterate telepathically the mantra: “Remember the optimism, honey. Don’t let’s ruin our holiday.” (Of course this was easier for me to embody, besides for one bottle of suncream and an XL can of Tabard spray, everything else in said suitcase belonged to my boyfriend. All of his clothes.)

After a few loud sighs at the Lost Baggage counter, it became evident that our luggage had been put on the same flight that we had been threatened to be placed on, 17 hours after our original arrival time. All credit to the Sri Lankan airport authorities, they knew exactly where our bag was, what time it would arrive and promised to deliver it to our back-packers at no extra charge. (Which they eventually did.)

We strapped the “optimism smiles” back on and marched forth into our new adventure.

And then, everything became right with the world. Cue R4 a cup of instant tea (yes they have instant tea machines) and taking a breath to suck it all in. Women in Saris, the Palm trees against the blue sky through the airport windows. The immaculate grass, which we had to touch to make sure it wasn’t astroturf. Warm air, warm smiles, warm tea. Hello Sri Lanka.

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mmm, tea

 

We bought a Dialog sim card with airtime for my iPhone (2gigs of data and free SMSs that, all inclusive, only cost R130). We called our taxi driver, who’d already been there waiting for our original flight – shame – he sent a friend to come collect us. Heads up: we payed 3500 Rupees for our taxi, which is R350 – but pretty standard for Sri Lanka as we have family friends who live there and recommended him. The Airport is pretty far away from the city and includes toll roads, so while this cost is much higher than average things, it seems fair.

We arrived on the 15th of April which is Sri Lankan New Year’s Day. We hadn’t planned on that but it was magical. The roads in the infamously bustling capital city, Colombo were much quieter. Restaurants all seemed to be closed, and shops deserted. All the people were also on holiday, just like us.

Tuk-Tuks were around R30 – R50 to get around Colombo, depending. Our first destination had come highly recommended by our Airport Taxi Driver, the Mount Lavinia Hotel. It’s a 5 star hotel that feels incredibly opulent with fountains and air conditioning. A pot of tea also set us back R60, but it was a welcome sit down and stock take. We met a pair of incredibly enthusiastic (are they ever not?) Americans who had retired in Sri Lanka and were full of tales of colonial wonder and caution. Tales like “Don’t wear your expensive jewellery around the locals, they might snatch it from you” which had us rolling our eyes inwardly and nodding politely. Sips tea like Kermit.

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Colonialsm at its best. The View from Mount Lavinia Hotel.

 

We were gagging for a bit of local flavour after that, so went walking looking for this beach-promenade I’d seen on a travel documentary called ‘Galle Road’ – I thought. In hindsight I chuckle at myself. Us walking through the seafront suburb, asking locals to direct us to ‘Galle Road’ and all of them pointing away from the coast, and looking at us a bit quizzically. Turns out, Galle road is the name of the main road that goes through the whole west coast of Sri Lanka, and can be driven on for hours, Literally. It links major cities.  After wandering the noisy (deserted) Galle Main Road, we found ourselves part of a funeral procession of mourners, as we walked in the same direction (which was hauntingly magical), eventually passing the graveyard which is where they left us. We ducked into the first local curry shop that we finally found that was actually open. Just a small cafe where we shared a chicken curry for R30, and a Fanta orange. The universal fun finder. The local children giggling, and peering out shyly from behind the kitchen curtain wall at us. My spice-phobic boyfriend seemed to be coping very well, with only a few tears.

After consulting the bible, (The Rough Guide to Sri Lanka book), we decided to head into the central Colombo district. To feel a bit of the chaos. We drove past The World Trade Centre, which is a set of twin towers. No joke. Went to the train-station to pick up our pre-booked tickets for the following morning to Kandy. Then we went back to the Chicken Curry restaurant to pick up our Guide Book. We forgot that behind. (We were sleep deprived OK!?)

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All this Tuk-tukking around helped us to see the city, and enjoy the quiet holiday-time roads. We also drove past this amazing Promenade full of food stands and people flying kites.

“There it is! That’s Galle Road! That’s what I saw on the Travel Channel!”

Turns out it’s called Galle FACE. Face… Road, same same.  Whatever, we were finally here. And what a day to be there. All the people that seemed hauntingly vacant from the main-road shops and restaurants were here! As sunset approached, the promenade was crawling with Happy New Yearers, all enjoying the late afternoon sunshine. Some flew kites, some played cricket, others snacked on different curried yumness from the food-stands and the majority were down at the seaside, shrieking with joy at every wave that wrapped around their ankles.

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So much joy. Bubbles, kites, balls, flags (and those are the twin towers in the distance).

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Me bottom right, on Galle Face – under a small sample of the countless kites soaring.

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You know you’re in Sri Lanka when: Everywhere cricket.

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New Years beach time seems to be a global phenomenon

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Sri Lankans at the beach.

We bought some curried, crunchy yumness for R5 a bag and sat watching the sights. It was a truly joyful first day in Sri Lanka. We alternated between watching children play cricket and the sunset. At R5 a bag, we couldn’t help sampling some more of the stall foods. Pro Tip: Sri Lankan curry-powder on sweet-pineapple is surprisingly yum!

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Bag of crunchy yumness.

 

 

Curry powder on everything. Even fruit.

Curry powder on everything. Even fruit.

Max towering over the locals. (Everyone assumed he was Pakistani or Indian because of his tanned skin.)

Max towering over the locals. (Everyone assumed he was Pakistani or Indian because of his tanned skin.)

Curried Crab.

Curried Crab.

Our first Sri Lankan sunset.

Our first Sri Lankan sunset.

Sitting, watching the first sunset on this tropical island, alongside the young mother whose toddler was practicing the over-armed cricket bowl with a small transparent ball that flashed LED red and blue with every bounce as he gleefully chased after it, to gather it up, prepare for his run-up and again throw it over his arm, we were struck by how peaceful and contented Sri Lankans were. There was no boisterous noise, even though there were throngs of people. There were no hustlers coming up to peddle their wares on the the two (clearly foreign) people sitting on the stairs. There was a sense of shyness about us being in their midst, a sense of respect and mutual understanding. That we were there because their country was beautiful, and as they smiled, and shyly looked to the sunset themselves, enjoying it’s last rays on this, the first day of their new year – it was as if they were saying.

“Thank you, we know it’s beautiful. You’re Welcome. Enjoy.”

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Sri Lankan Sunset

Thus began our time in a country that already had our heart.

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..To be continued. Tomorrow we were off by train to the cultural capital, Kandy.

 

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Random Haai-Fives: Shark Cage Diving with Gordon’s Gin.

 

 

“They say it takes a legend to know one – and in Gordon’s case this couldn’t be any truer.”

In September 2014 Gordon’s Gin launched a national search for a true Gordon’s Legend: someone ambitious adventurous and inspirational, who embodies the spirit of legends – Gordon’s Gin.

Finally in December, the winner of the Gordon’s ‘See Yourself as the Next Legend’ competition was announced. Andrew Mphore, a true hero within his community, won the grand prize of a 7-day getaway for four people in South Africa’s Number One holiday destination, as well as R50 000 in cold hard cash.

On the 28th of February, Andrew and his lucky guests arrived in sunny Cape Town and checked into a luxury penthouse suite at the 15 on Orange hotel. Over the course of their stay, the four were treated like absolute royalty – as true Legends should!

I was invited to join Andrew and his family on Day 4 of the week of Legendary experiences, to keep an eye on what awesome things Gordon’s was doing – so I could report back to y’all.

The day started at 4am wake up, to see Australia losing spectacularly at CWC, which was honestly quite a high already. Then our awesome driver (aptly named Gordon) picked us up and took us to 15 on Orange where we could snack on the (5 star) breakfast buffet and feel luxurious. We got to meet Andrew and his entourage and I’d brought fellow stand-up comedian, Westley Cockrell as my plus-one. None of us had any joy in our eyes that early.

Then we were ushered back into the van, with packed bags full of more food (fattening us up for the sharks, perhaps?) and started the hour or so drive off to Gansbaai. I rode up front with Gordon and chatted about his life of VIP hosting luxury, so the trip flew past in a gorgeous sunrise of Overberg colours.

And then. We arrived.

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A beautiful sunny morning, with what looked like a calm sea greeted us. We went inside where there was MORE food, coffee and a safety briefing. We all got kitted out in rain-coats (the kind the serial killer wears in teen-horror films) and trundled off to the ‘Apex Predator’ boat.

I’ve gone shark-cage diving once before, in the same bay. But today was a whole different experience that I really think classifies as ‘Legendary’. Mostly because I now know 1. What it looks like when 90% of the people are seasick on a boat and 2. What it looks like moments before you die from a Great White swallowing you whole. As one lunged at the cage, open mouthed, and snapped about 20cm from my face. I screamed. Underwater. And clung onto the random German Tourists alongside me in the cage.

The DVD footage of that is pretty amusing as you seem me propelling upwards, one arm outstreched like the Lady of the Lake to cling to the top of the cage. The shark guides were yelling at me to go under the water again as the shark was about to make another pass (at my face) to which i replied. No thanks, I’m fine up here. Much like when you hide under your blankets from monsters, I knew that if I didn’t LOOK there wouldn’t be a 4 metre long Great White Shark, circling me.

Adrenaline coursed, jokes were made. Swells were bobbed over, and we all survived.

I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.

Andrew and his crew.

Andrew and his crew.

 

 

Westley Cockrell and I - 'We're going to need a bigger boat!"

Westley Cockrell and I – ‘We’re going to need a bigger boat!”

 

 

Our driver and host, Gordon.

Our driver and host, Gordon.

Da dum.

Da dum.

 

Daaa dum.

Daaa dum.

Andrew's Brother in Law - he Survived (and saw 2 sharks)

Andrew’s Brother in Law – he Survived (and saw 2 sharks)

Me, before pseudo death.

Me, before pseudo death.

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When asked what the highlight of their stay was Andrew said the entire trip was one big highlight. But if he had to single out some of his favourite moments they would definitely be driving the AC Cobra around Cape Town and cage diving with Great White Sharks.

“I never imagined I would do all these things in my entire life, let alone 7 days!” said Andrew. “Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to walk in the shoes of a Legend.” Gordons Gin. A legend since 1769.

Tune into my radio show today from 1-3pm on 2oceansvibe radio, I’ll have Simphiwe from Gordon’s Gin in studio to chat about the campaign.

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Mirrors Hair Lab.

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If you type “best hair salon in Cape Town” into Google then Mirrors Hair Lab comes up first. (Thanks to a survey ran in 2013) And it’s not hard to understand why. With its quirky ‘home feel’ interior, and its personable and personal attention.

I was invited as part of ‘media’ to a pamper session at Mirrors, where I got to meet Candice. She told me about her passion for treating every customer like family, and rather having less customers that she can dedicate full attention to than making them feel part of an assembly line of cuts. I totally get her approach, because we are all pretty precious about our hair. We want to feel heard, and re-heard as we debate the fringe length for the 15th time. It matters to us, ok! This salon also has nice inside and outside chill areas, so you can hang out.

Perks I found: Parking. It’s the bane of Cape Town, trying to find good/free parking – anywhere. Mirrors is located 2 Molteno Rd, Gardens. Thats right next to De Waal Park. So there’s ample parking along the road.

Fairies. The theme is quirky with mirror balls and fairy trinkets everywhere inside. Throwing me back to happier times of my childhood. There were even ‘Fairy Oracle Cards’ on the table where i sat – nothing wrong with that. I’m sold.

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Service. With clearly capable hands, Candice whipped my hair into ringlet locks quicker, and more beautifully than ever before. As a girl with terminally straight and limp hair, I have tried endlessly to acquire this type of effect. Left me bouncing out of there feeling like a mermaid.

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Candice previously worked as Western Cape colour technician for L’Oreal and Redken where she gained international experience in Paris and London. She regularly styles for SA Fashion Week with Redken. Candice is also a make-up artist and is often tasked with helping clients look their best for weddings and special occasions. So she knows what’s up.

We were gifted with some hair goodies as a take-away and I’m pretty obsessed with this Matrix Amazonian Murumuru hair oil (that was used on my hair in the above photo). You run it through damp hair before styling for gloss, control and yum-smell! Or you can use it at the end of styling to smooth down those fly-aways.

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Tune into my radio show this Friday the 13th 1-3pm. I’ll have Candice in Studio to chat hair care, hair trends and hot products. (I’ll also have someone from Gordon’s Dry Gin to chat about why I recently went GREAT WHITE SHARK CAGE DIVING! – but that’s for another blog-post! )

Book at Mirrors and let me know how you liked it. I definitely want to visit again, to try some more of the treatments etc.

Mirrors Hair LabCandice: 2 Molteno Rd, Gardens 021 424 3931

*Hair Five*

 

 

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Me, in the Marie Claire Naked Issue 2015 :)

Some of you might remember that I hit the muay-thai gym pretty relentlessly towards the end of last year under the training of Quentin and Winston Chong. I alluded that I had a reason, but wasn’t allowed to announce it yet.

Well, today that reason hits the shelves.

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I had the immense honour of being asked to participate in Marie Claire’s annual ‘Naked Issue’ as one of the 35 celebs who take it all off in support of a great cause. Nothing will make you hit gym harder than the prospect of your nekkid self being in a Country-wide magazine. Thanks to Dragon Power Muay Thai, I managed to tone up enough in 2 weeks that I could face the camera (after a big glass (read:bowl) of rosé .

I was joined by fellow comedians Schalk Bezuidenhout and Shimmy Isaacs on the shoot and many giggles were had. I have seen more of Schalk than I ever wanted to – and you can too, if you buy the magazine.

It’s for an amazing cause this year, Blow the Whistle. Which is an organisation that aims to alleviate abuse of women and children by speaking out. I have seen a few comments today already of people on twitter saying ‘how is getting naked going to stop rape? that’s like showering to stop aids’ Ok. Whilst funny, that’s flawed for two reasons. Getting naked should not allude in any way to ‘rape’. Nothing should invite rape, so being naked or fully clothed shouldn’t have any impact on the notion of whether or not someone might get raped.

Secondly, making us vulnerable in front of a camera, naked. Is showing the vulnerability of all the women and children who feel equally (if not far more so) exposed and shamed when they try to speak out. It was handled on set in a very sincere and sombre manner, and all of us were acutely aware of the point of what we were there for. Sure, Shimmy, Schalk and I are all comedians – so of course there were pockets of laughter – but there was a feeling of  gravity when the shooting started, that feeling of vulnerability that every women has felt, walking down a street late at night. Or in the middle of the day.

Being vulnerable and taking off all of our masks and clothing ‘armour’ to reveal ourselves at our honest core. That was the message that we all knew we were taking part in. It made me shake, not from fear, but with emotion. Emotion for all of the humans, myself included, who have felt helpless and speechless at some point in their lives – with no way to speak out.

They even put the bare minimum of make-up, no mascara, no colour. Nothing to make us feel shielded.

It was a beautiful experience, and I’m so humbled by what it opened my eyes to. They captured the image of Shimmy and I in the first few shots, the shoot was wrapped so quickly. The photographer said she did it that way because there’s still a vulnerability in one’s eyes as they first become naked, and thats what she was trying to convey. The honesty.

A sneak peek at my photo in Marie Claire. You'll have to buy the mag to zoom out.

A sneak peek at my photo in Marie Claire. You’ll have to buy the mag to zoom out.

Check out Blow the Whistle, they have a new app that you can press a panic button that automatically notifies three of your chosen phone numbers of your location. It also allows you to set ‘home’ routes to tell people where you are travelling from and to so that if you don’t arrive on time, it notifies your contact people.

The magazine is out today supported by 1st For Women Insurance. Pick it up, get involved. Speak out against violence and abuse of women and children. It’s everyone’s problem.

#MCNaked

 

How to get involved:

  • Share your voice! Speak up and tell others to do the same.

Marie Claire has created a picture gallery on its website (Marieclaire.co.za), where readers can post their message of support or opinion on sexual violence. This gallery will be shared on Marie Claire’s Facebook page. To drive engagement and more discussion; 1st For Women Insurance will donate R10 000 towards The DNA Project when the Facebook gallery reaches 1 000 shares.

  • Donate: SMS the word ‘WHISTLE’ to 38157 to make a donation of R10 towards BTW.

  • Buy a whistle for R36 from The Cross Trainer stores or from hotels in the Legacy Group around South Africa. (For more information, visit Whistle.co.za)

 

 

 

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All the Tea in Cape Town.

“Tea” at the Mount Nelson has always been heralded as one of the most decadent and ‘must do’ things in Cape Town. I finally tried it for myself this past Sunday Morning. And it was as luxurious and colonial as Queen Victoria would expect.

Everything about the Mount Nelson is decadent. From the thrillingly pink walls, the palm lined driveway and the exploding flowerbeds around the emerald manicured lawns. It screams 5 star. The service of the Morning Tea is no different. When I’m at these fine dining type places, I always want to whisper in the waiter’s ear as they unfold my starched napkin for me; “Don’t worry, I’m not rich, you don’t have to be so nice to me” because it leaves me feeling like a fraud.

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If you haven’t been (as I hadn’t) the sun room is spectacular. It felt like The Opulent India of the 1800s. They have huge arrangements of potted flowers flanking the doorway which opens into a serene garden, with high trees, hibiscus and a central fountain, filling the area with the giggling sound of sparkling water falling into a pond. Bliss.

Now, it’s a bit pricey and I’m not going to say ‘but it was worth it’. But it kinda was. For Morning tea (the cheaper option, as opposed to High Tea) Including tip, you’re looking at around R215 per person for what’s essentially tea and scones. But you’re not going for Tea and Scones. You’re going for the fountain and the waiter making you feel royal, and the birdsong, and the real sunflowers smiling at you. If you bear that in mind, it’s much more worth it.

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The tea is served in fine bone china and glass tea-pots so you can see the infusion. Our waiter spoke about tea like a somalier talks about wine. Explaining the different infusions, blends, notes, tones and even which ones compliment which flavours and palates. I really enjoyed the respect shown to my most beloved beverage. (You can drink as many pots and kinds of tea as you want. No extra charge.) The waiter was so good at upselling that my first tea flavour choice was blue cornflower earl grey tea. I hate earl grey tea. I loved this one.

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The food is exactly what you’d hope from a poncy colonial tea experience. Complete with cucumber and cream cheese sarmies. Tim Noakes fans of Banting need not apply to this tea – as every single thing was dripping in sugar and carbs. Finger sandwiches, croissants, scones, chocolate ganache cake, cheesecake, banana bread and spinach quiche. It was more than I could finish, and they let me take a doggy bag – which thrilled me.

High Tea is slightly more expensive as it’s a buffet with much of the same ingredients (and many more). Buffets are sneaky little monsters. You pay more so you can eat more, sure. But it might be worth your buck if you plan on only stocking up on macaroons or something, but you aren’t really going to be able to eat your fill of these rich, carby, sugary treats without regretting your life decisions. (Unless you’re American.)

I’d recommend this experience as long as you know that you’re in it for the experience and the tea (which was amazing, I had an orange, cardamon infused one second. So yum!) But not for the foodies. The food was fine but not worth that price. I think next time, I’ll just order a pot of tea (around R60) and soak up the ambiance. Rah rah rah.

Remember, Pinkies up!

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World-renowned Magnum Pleasure Store to hit Cape Town

I’ve been invited to experience Magnum Sized Pleasure. Oh behave. Tonight is the VIP launch of the Magnum Pleasure Store, and I’m going to get Ice-cream in and around my mouth!

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See below for details via the Press Release:

New York, Melbourne, Amsterdam, Paris, Istanbul, Johannesburg – and now Cape Town!

The Magnum Pleasure Store pops up at Cavendish Square, Claremont on 17 January 2015 in celebration of Magnum’s 25th Birthday, giving you the chance to customise your own Magnum and share the glamour of a quarter century of pleasure with some of the country’s hottest celebrities. Open daily from 10am – 8pm and running for 8 weeks only until 15 March 2015, Magnum Cape Town gives Magnum fans the chance to celebrate their favourite ice cream by customising it with their choice of decadent chocolate dip, and nearly 20 toppings from sea salt to chilli flakes and rose petals to chocolate-coated honeycomb. The Make My Magnum experience costs R50, which includes your choice of three premium toppings.

Having travelled the globe since 2012, The Magnum Pleasure Store has been drawing crowds of public and celebrities alike. After a record-setting run in Joburg, Magnum Cape Town expects to attract in the region of 50,000 pleasure seekers. At the dazzling official launch party to be held on 15 January, Jonathan Boynton-Lee and Leigh-Anne Williams will co-host some of Cape Town’s leading VIPs prior to the official public opening on 17 January.

And for pleasure seekers, a host of other surprise pop-up experiences await. For exclusive access, we invite you to like facebook.com/MagnumSouthAfrica and keep your eyes peeled in the press! You can also follow @MagnumSA on Twitter and share the love via Twitter #MakeMyMagnumSA.

Join Magnum and celebrate 25 years of pleasure your own way, by visiting Magnum Cape Town at Cavendish Square, Claremont this summer.

*High Five for Pleaseure!* Giggity!

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#MakeLight of crisis with #Loadsharing from Nando’s

Nando’s has done it again. Making light of the frustrations that South Africans are all feeling with the incessant Load Shedding from Eskom.

We love you. And your yumness. Get in ma belly.

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The Ancient Platbos Forest #Trees4Hope

platbos IMG_8385

What is the Ancient Forest? Watch this 1.40min video. It’s an enchanted heart  and soul of the planet – Some trees are even 1000 years old.

Look, I know this is a little tree-huggy and hippy. But honestly, indigenous forests are one of the most valuable things on the planet. Literally. Think primary school biology class and the eco-system lesson. Alien vegetation, whilst also oxygen producing, usually leeches more water than it needs and isn’t in harmony with the animals and bacteria that need the local trees to flourish. Basically. We need to stop being dicks and start worrying more about our natural forests.

Plus, it’s an amazing place to visit and return to your Apocalypto style roots.

Pledge R150 to plant

 

PLEDGE R150 TO PLANT #TREES4HOPE AT PLATBOS… AND GROW AN INDIGENOUS FOREST THIS FESTIVE SEASON!
INSTEAD OF BUYING A PLASTIC TREE OR CUTTING DOWN A LIVING ONE TO DECORATE YOUR HOME OR OFFICE, INVEST IN OUR FUTURE WITH TREES FOR TOMORROW! LET’S CELEBRATE THIS FESTIVE SEASON A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY…

The tradition of Christmas trees is rooted in pre-Christian times where the Northern Hemisphere‘s winter solstice (December 21st) marked the shortest day and longest night. In the frozen heart of midwinter, evergreen trees became beacons of life and hope in an otherwise bleak landscape.

This year, to celebrate the festive season and off-set the ‘cost’ of Christmas Trees felled for decoration, pledge to plant #trees4hope. Your R150 per tree will help reforest the ancient Platbos Forest.

Platbos-Forest-Gansbaai

Your Pledge Counts.

Your R150.00 goes towards:

– sustainable hand harvesting of tree seedlings in Spring from the forest floor

– two years of intensive nurturing in the forest nursery to produce a strong, healthy sapling

– long hard hours of hand-clearing invasive, alien vegetation

– the costly process of creating wood chip from cleared invader trees to cool the soil and prevent moisture loss

– actual planting of the tree, done lovingly by hand during the wet winter season

– on-going maintenance of the reforestation stand until it forms an integral part of the forest canopy

Each tree represents a square meter of future canopy, strengthening the forest and creating a habitat for creatures large and small: wild bees, bushbuck, honey badgers, porcupines, birds, leopards and leopard toads.

If you would like to calculate how many #trees4hope are needed to offset your carbon footprint, you can do so here.

WIN:

Platbos T4H comp

 

With every #tree4hope pledged, you’ll automatically be entered into the competition to win a magical 2 night getaway for two to Platbos’ Honey Bee forest suite. You can also enter by

– liking Platbos Forest Reserve on Facebook, tag five friends and share the official competiton photo on your timeline.

– following @PlatbosForest and RT-ing official #trees4hope competition tweets

Platbos Honey Bee Camp view

(T&C’s apply)

How to Pledge a Tree:

You can pay for your R150 tree in 2 ways:

1. Directly via EFT:

Platbos Conservation Trust

Nedbank Cheque/Current Account

Account Number: 1820009467

Branch Code: 198765

Use #trees4hope as your reference

2. Via credit/debit card, Payfast here:

Please email proof of payment, your name and surname or company/organisation and a brief dedication to trees4hope@sacredcapital.org and they will mail you a personalized certificate – and automatically enter you into the competition.

Christmas tree/presents: Sorted.

Tune into my weekly radio show this coming Friday the 28th November on 2oceansviberadio from 1-3pm here. We’ll have Jon and Skye from Platbos in studio, talking more about the initiative and the COMPETITION!

platbos images

*High five for hugging trees!*

 

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