As much as we’re all unique, (just like everybody else) and our skinny jeans are different because the stitching is thinner, or the pocket’s are imported from India… we’re all pretty much existing in the same community, trying to blend in. Argue all you like but think about this: It’s cool to hate on Justin Bieber, The Kardashians and Crocs… Thanks to social media, it’s like we’re all in high school again – making sure we don’t admit to something that’s not hip in front of the bigger, more popular kids.
Well, here’s me throwing down as Geeky High school Angel looks on in slow-motion terror. I admit: I don’t hate ONE of those things i mentioned above!? (Which one? Read on, and see other abnormal things about me too:)
1. I have never seen a full James Bond Movie.
*whhhaaat?* I know, I know. Look, I have seen parts of them. I know there’s a tarantula walking up a chest in one (that image has haunted me since childhood – but i think it was the hairy chest, more than the spider that was traumatic.)
I tried to watch Casino Royale the other day… I zoned out. There is just too much action, spies, guns and all that.
I do enjoy the suits, affairs and hot bond girls though… and I like martinis. I don’t care if it’s shaken or stirred… alcoholic will do. (Besides, James Bond drinks Heineken now… even icons have a sponsorship price, and it’s more than a “Penny – Money.” *side eye*)
Now that I’ve lost all the men, it’s time to lose all the women:
2. I have never once had an emotional reaction to the toilet seat being left up.
Maybe it’s because I had a big brother, so it was just a way of life, or maybe it’s because I was raised with basic priorities instilled over what to make a big deal about, and what not to. Knock it down, ladies. Gravity’s on your side. Quit your whinging. I’d rather they leave it up than mess on the seat, that’s far more likely to register on my priority meter of things to make a big deal out of. I only like a wet bottom in certain instances… in the bath for instance. (You thought I was making a dirty joke! – I was, kinda… Baths are for dirty people, to get clean.)
3. I think Mexican food is overrated.
I feel like the kid shouting, “The Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes” and the whole town turns to look at him, then locks him away in a straight jacket for being mentally questionable. I’m not saying it’s not delicious. I just – it’s just – it’s all the friggen SAME. Beans, coriander, salsa, spicy meat and wraps… And i guess if you’re craving that – then all power to you. I just missed the bus that made it trendy, clearly.
That said, I’m not hating on it. I have had some great meals in the past. For example; El Burro’s Duck tortilla is amazing! (Or was it a burrito… maybe? or what’s the other one called? the one with the beans, tomato, avo and sour cream …what? they all have that? Yes…. Well then… *awkward cough*)
4. I don’t find babies adorable.
I am a girl. I like pink. I like sparkles. Puppies are cute. Kittens are precious. But (barring one or two) babies do not make me lose my shit, and start talking all cutesy and googly. Teeny little babies are important because they grow up into (depending) cute toddlers, entertaining kids and (hopefully) relevant people…. but, I have always faked it when I gush at a baby… unless i say “i usually fake it, but that kid’s really cute” (which i have said… but now i have found myself faking that too… the double fake out. Like a secret agent.. and i haven’t even WATCHED 007!)
Babies all look the same to me, Like putty. I increasingly find guys trying to woo me with pictures of them and “adorable” kids. Which is offensive. You didn’t do that when I was 21. Do you hear my internal clock ticking? That’s just a metronome of awesome… the beat i march to. The most likely cute kids are mixed race kids. Like they say in ‘Happy Endings’ Mixed race kids are God’s photoshop. ;-)
So, Sorry – I’m sure my OWN kid will be the most amazing, adorable thing i’ve ever seen… but until then… *meh*
(I googled “cutest baby ever” to show an exception to my rule… but didn’t find one that made me gush. *blink*)
5. I don’t hate Justin Bieber.
*shock* Hipster *horror*
Yes. He’s slightly precocious and obnoxious. But wouldn’t you be if you had achieved that much success, by working hard and hustling, at that age? It’s so damn trendy to call him a girl, or gay. (Depending on if you want to appear sexist or homophobic, i suppose) Where does all this ‘hate’ come from? He’s just a little kid, doing what he loves to do. Distracting other little kids. Whatever.
And yes – his music is slightly annoying. But it’s not aimed at you. It’s aimed at all the little girls whose life he makes better just by tweeting, “hello”. How do I know this? Because I once cried when someone got me an autograph from the Backstreet Boys when I was a pre-teen… ok… full teen. Whatever. All I’m saying is… I watched his documentary, Never say Never… and I’m proud of the kid. (Also, that new track “boyfriend” is pretty catchy. *duck*)
.. And, one last nail in the coffin of my reputation… worse still than not loathing the Beebs:
6. I used to have a THING for gingers.
*Hangs head* This is a true story. When I was in Primary school AND highschool… All the little ginger kids were the ones I had a crush on. My first ‘boyfriend’ in Std.2 (4th Grade) was a ginger… and I guess it went downhill from there. I literally had a ‘thing’ for the ginger kids.
Then, I fell in love with boy-bands and started having a ‘thing’ for anyone who looked like Nick Carter… see? Don’t hate on the pop music culture. It can save lives. Literally.
*awkward high five*
What about you? Spill the beans: (all the uncool kids are doing it) tell me some confessions about YOU that are abnormal…