The Year of the Wooden Horse (Sarah Jessica Parker’s year)

So, it’s 2014. That feels like such an empty number to me. 13 is unlucky, and 15 is the year of the ‘future’ 2015 is always the year that sci-fi novels and movies seemed to allude to from the 80’s of the REAL future. So scientists have 12 more months to get teleportation, flying cars and casual space travel into popular mainstream culture. (no, Miley on a silver ball doesn’t count. I don’t care how far off this planet her mind may be.)

The Chinese (aka the rulers of the earth) have Lunar new year, and it only happens on the 31st January 2014. So if you NYE was a bit of a dud, or you’d wished you’d kissed that certain co-worker at midnight, you have a couple more weeks to get to give it a reboot. I say we should adopt the Chinese calendar sooner than later anyway. We all know they are days away from pressing a button and commencing global domintion anyway – and that’s going to put A LOT of us into inconvenience. One less inconvenience would be changing the NYE calendar – what have the Gregorians done for us lately anyway? Chanting on CDs isn’t nearly as great as affordable footwear that lasts almost a month.

It’s the Chinese year of the Wooden Horse. FYI. And according to the infallible SCIENCE that is horoscopes this means that it could be an incredibly successful year, or an incredibly terrible year. (They really narrowed that down for us, didn’t they.)

All I’m saying is, avoid bad luck. Be nice to Sarah Jessica Parker, pass her a carrot if you see her, give her hair a brush or a sugar lump or two and 2014 is sure to pass by from one sunrise to the next, 365 times. You can quote me on that.

High five.




About YesReallyAngel

quirky, sardonic, sarcastic, ironic, satirical girl. Lover of marshmallows and high-fives.
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