The Best of Me

My favourite tweets, thoughts and rants.

follow me @YesReallyAngel

A lesbian girl just meowed at me on the street. Seriously? who MEOWS? Well, I suppose. You are what you eat…

 If you hold an empty Black Label quart up to your ear, you can hear the ghetto.

I’ve watched 9 episodes of The Newsroom and i’m still waiting to see when the Indian kid goes on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire…
My tea is either always too hot or too cold. Is this a metaphor for my life? If so, I’d like to meet the bears and tell them to have a baby.

If Mama Bear and Papa Bear never have a baby, does that mean that nothing will ever be ‘Just right’?
Green Peace are onto something…

When is the world finally going to get told it’s been PUNK’D and Kim Kardashian can go back to being a nobody and Kanye can stop pretending.

Just saw a guy fall off his bike and two old men on the street pack out laughing at him. I guess we never grow up.

It’s 5773 according to Jewish new year? If you’re Jewish you should DEFINITELY not eat this Bacon in my fridge, It expires in 2012.

My voice Therapist says whispering hurts your throat more. I said back that his name broken up is ‘the rapist’ – there was no whispering.

I wish so badly that James Hook was the Captain so we could confuse USA twitter with Captain James Hook making them think Neverland is back #Rugby

Prove that the wind is not a bunch of ghosts jogging. You can’t.

The rest of the world is shocked that the SA gold medalists are white. SA is shocked that there is a black guy on the rowing team! o_0

I have a condition that makes me eat when I cant sleep. Its called Insom-nom-nom-nia.

Dear 6yr old Angel, enjoy the fact that you can lie on the floor and cry in public when things don’t go ur way. That goes away. You miss it.

“Stop Kony” the biggest interest Americans have shown in Africa since Mufasa died.

Uhhh. I just activated my macbook mail, and it’s downloading ALL starting from 2006? DO YOU THINK BANDWIDTH GROWS ON TREES, MAC?!

Don’t hate the player, hate the game. Don’t hate the writer, hate the words. Don’t hate the shooter, hate the bullet. or…. Don’t hate.

 If Mitt Romney wins the election, can we vote America off the island?
Rainy weather: fucking with pre-planned sunday outfits since Noah’s wife.
Spring. That beautiful interval between people bitching about being too hot or too cold.
So wait, we’re boycotting Woolworths again… why? Did they have Easter eggs for Eid?
I actually switch stations when Die Antwoord plays. If this makes me unpatriotic then collecting roadkill makes you an animal lover.
Chuck Norris can tell a Chuck Norris joke and everyone acts like they’ve never heard it.
“I can’t wait!” “What are you excited for?” “Nothing, I just got fired from my waiter job.”
If guys knew how much girls dance around before putting on a normal voice and answering casually when you call. You’d love us more. Or less.
The city is noisy out there. I can’t wait to be over 60 so I can justify grumbling about this on a friday night…

People who always tell me to smile when I’m randomly staring and thinking- next time u see me smiling to myself, I’m plotting ur murder.

There’s a reason the word ‘come’ is in comedy.

I don’t need a Sugar Daddy, I can afford my own sugar. i need a Petrol Daddy.

 

 

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